4 Years Later

Its been 4 years since I started this relationship with Beth. Its been many years since I did anything with this LiveJournal. Yet here I am, and she continues to amaze me, even after all this time. Still though I am not as good of a man as I should be.

I still haven't finished college, or even done much more then the last time I started in this journal. The only thing I have going for me is that I now live with the woman I love. Yet there is still so much of my life that isn't complete.

What have I become? What would I be if I had it to do all over again?

Am I happy? Yes.

Yea there she was, like Disco Superfly

So I haven't updated my journal in a dick year. But I guess its cause things are going pretty good and I tend to wirte in this bastard when I'm all bothered. Or something. But the point is, I'm back like Platform shoes baby!

So Beth and I are going to spend a bunch of days together starting Valentines, and you know what that means....


(In a manly man voice.....YES!)

I think I'm going to go to the Y tommorrow, work out a little bit. I havent in so long, and my body has just went to hell. I used to be pumped, well sorta, now I'm just a skinny dude. But I think I'm cancelling my Y membership soon for a cellphone. Long distance bills suck.

But its come to the point where I need to talk to Beth nearly everynight. I think we have called each other every day for like the past week or so. Oh well, its all good. And worth every penny.

In 10 days I'll have known Beth for one whole year.....and in another 30 days I'll have been going out with Beth for a year. I've loved her every minute of that. Its amazing, crazy and so beautiful.

I need to get serious about school, but with a long distance relationship, my procrastination, work and my whole blah outlook on things I just can't seem to get into the groove. Its like if I apply myself I'm a A+ student, and if I don't I'm a C/B student. Yea so maybe I'll get serious soon. THis whole "real life" thing is you know, kinda crap. I don't wanna work. But I gotta work, gotta have a car, gotta have a apartment. Its like, one day I woke up and I was a adult.

I need to file my taxes. Maybe I'll do that tommorrow. I have set myself up for such a full plate tommorrow and probably won't go to bed for another 6 hours, I'll surely never do half of it.

I never do anything, yet I can't ever find time to do the things I need to do.

Like buy-back my old car from the repairmen, look for apts, get my car vet tested, do school work and spend time with my family.

Who are a bunch of fucked up folks for the record.... my family that is.

AND who the hell decided that Carrie and Adian on "Sex and the City" could break up? Hello, dipshits your clifthanger last season was they are getting married, and then this season you write them breaking up in two episodes? WTF? Who booked this shit? They were in LOVE....hellllllo.....LOVE....you don't just fall out of love. Jesus. And if you do...NOT IN TWO STINKING EPISODES!

Anywho that does it for me.......

See you next time in..... Updated again or JOURNAL Y2K2!
Same Bat Time!
Same Bat Channel!
  • Current Music
    Marcy Playground - Sex and Candy

Beth says....

maybe one day we'll just be like, "we need a change." and we'll pack up all our stuff and get in our car and just drive away. to anywhere. somewhere where there was never a seperate me or you, but a place where we will always been known as us.

Look at me I'm NAKED! Not really, jeesh. Perv.

Heather is/was a good friend of mine, who got incredibally jealous of my relationship with Beth for whatever reasons. She was really rude to me, and eventually said some unpleasant things about Beth and I. Since then, around 8 months, I haven't talked to her. So this happened yesterday.

From a email to Beth:

About a hour or two ago, around 7:00 I called Heather. Id' been thinking about it. It wasn't a up to date call, I didn't talk about why I hadn't talked to her in months. I just called and kinda said hi.

It was weird but I guess, ever since my cousin died. I watched all those people go to that funeral and drop whatever their hatreds were. So I guess, I'm just saying hi to her, and the ball is in her court.

Chances are I might not talk to her again anytime soon. And if I do, she'll probably turn into that person I didn't like. But I feel good knowing, at least I gave it one last chance.

I can never forgive her for how she treated us. But I'll give her one chance to start over I guess.


Beth thinks I'm a great and amazing guy for doing that. Maybe I am. Or maybe I just realized sometimes you gotta let things ride. Bury the ax, or something. Anyway I guess I'll update that situation later.

Speaking of Beth, she continues to be a hottie all the guys want. She gets flirted with every day, thinks its her job. I think maybe its cause....She's beautiful. But I mean that. Fuck those guys flirting in cars.

When she was in town a while back she had me show me a picture of my X. I dunno if it bothered her or not. It took me about 20 mins to find one, the only one I have as a matter of a fact. Which I guess is a shame, I had a nice one of her but she took it back and gave it to someone else. UGH, that girl did me so wrong. NONE of that is the point however so let me get to the point....I had forgotten what she looked like. I mean, I had a tiny image in my head. I wasn't real accurate. I dunno if Beth was impressed or whatever cause she hasn't said anything about it. BUT the real point is, the only photo I have is from one of those photo booth things, and Beth and I JUST took one that looks a lot the same. When I realized that I was like "UGH" and I'm sure Beth thought the same. I mean, it almost looked as though I took those pics with all my GFs, which I didn't. But I felt dumb cause not long before I had begged Beth to take one of those with me.

The point of all this? I had mostly forgotten the girl who I first slept with. It made me feel good, cause all I think about is Beth. And our experiances together, as if they were my first. Which if your counting LOVE, they are.

I couldn't remember this girls face, and I know nearly every part of Beth like the back of my hand. Or tounge rather. HA!

Valentines is coming up, Beth has went all out for this holiday so far. I know she has. I really haven't yet. I will, but I plan on us having a nice dinner for sure. I got a resteraunt picked out. Other then that, I haven't found the things I want yet to get her. But I know we'll both make each other feel super special. It'll be super special just to be with her.

  • Current Music
    Smash Mouth - Why can't we be friends

The obsessive boyfriend....

She wanted to go out tonight. I didn't want her to go. I wanted her to have fun. I didn't want guys to flirt with her. She wanted them to buy her free drinks. I wanted her to turn them down. I felt bad for telling her not to let guys flirt with her. She told me to tell her no. I did.

I don't wanna turn into the guy who says, you can't go out, you can't wear that, you can't talk to this guy or that guy.

Its hard dating a pretty girl, EVERYBODY wants her. But she's MINE!
  • Current Mood
    frustrated frustrated


You know when someone dies you start to think about all the people in your life you've just forgotten. What if they up and died? You wouldn't be able to talk to them again. Yea and that sucks.

So I'm going to try and fix some of these bridges I've burned with old friends. I guess I'm gonna put in some calls this week. Just to random people I haven't talked to in a long time. Some of them I didn't leave on good terms, but hey I'm going to try I guess.

Moving on....I missed some classes this week from school. Jeesh its the second week. I mean I didn't really miss anything cause I turned all my papers in, but even so I don't want to fall into that same trap of being so procrastinating that I don't even go to class.

Last weekend I had thre most incredible weekend with Beth. I mean it was just great. She stayed at my apartment. I mean it was kinda cheap cause it was so short. BUT, on the other hand we just had such a great time. I think its really brightened our relationship. I find myself missing her so much. Earlier today I just sit in the dark and told myself over and over how much I missed my Beffy.....Bethy...or however you'd spell that. I just wanted to give her a 1000 lil smooches.

nWo 4-Life

Beth just made me crackup. She can be so funny sometimes.

Anyway I think I'm gonna call this a journal.

Life is short, live it.
  • Current Music
    Bob Dylan - Hurricane

Ah the college life....

Well as I write this, its from a computer at college. I just got off work, and I have about 30 inutes until my class so I'm just sitting here fucking off.

It'd be nice if I actually HAD something to write in the journal....

OHH I got it!

So Beth is coming into town this weekend. its gonna be a short visit, just the weekend itself, which is gonna suck. But I swear we both have to look at this as a positive, aftrall we are seeing each other. She's gonna stay at my place, which should be nice. Sleeping in my bed together and junk cause we'll have to cuddle so close. Cause my bed is S to the M to the A to the LL!!

But I'm excited.

Yeap, thats about it.